Should I Become a Leader?
Back in my corporate life, the idea of becoming a manager genuinely scared me. In my mind, a real leader was someone in their 50s with decades of wisdom, a calm presence, and a few grey hairs to signal they’d “earned it.”
I was in my 30s, still figuring out who I was professionally. How was I supposed to lead anyone?
And honestly, the idea of having power or influence over people’s lives, inside and outside the office, didn’t appeal to me at all. I didn’t want that responsibility. I didn’t want to be the reason someone had a bad day, a missed opportunity, or a stalled career.
I also reflected on the bosses I’ve had in my career. Especially the terrible ones. The thought of turning into one of them was terrifying.
And you know what?
That mindset stayed with me for years… until a single line from Dune (2021) cracked something open. Duke Leto tells his son:
“A great man doesn’t seek to lead. He’s called to it, and he answers.”
In 2022, I got that call.
Was I hesitant? Absolutely.
Did I feel qualified? Not really.
Did I commit to being the best leader I could be for a team of strangers? Without question.
Those three years became some of the most fulfilling of my entire career and ultimately the spark that led me to start my coaching business.
Because here’s the truth:
At some point, most of us reach a crossroads in our career.
Do we stay on the familiar path of the individual contributor (IC)?
Or do we step into the unknown world of leadership?
In many corporations, the IC path has a ceiling. You can grow, but only to a point. Leadership, on the other hand, opens new doors, more responsibility, more influence, more opportunities to shape the work and the people around you.
So which path is right for you?
Only you can answer that. But I can help you think about it clearly.
If you value:
Power
Control
Greed
Being “right”
Please do the world a favor and stay in your IC swim lane. Leadership will only amplify the worst parts of you.
But if you value:
Caring
Teamwork
Giving Back
Mentoring
Coaching
Teaching
Then leadership might be calling your name…just like it eventually called mine.
How Do You Know If You’re Ready for Leadership?
Most people think readiness is about confidence, expertise, or having all the answers. It isn’t.
Readiness is about capacity: emotional, relational, and practical.
One of the few great bosses I had in my career gave some simple advice that I still remember today.
“If you truly care about people, you’ll be a great boss.”
Simple wisdom, yet it forces us to dig deep within ourselves to understand if we really do “care”.
Here’s a clearer way to think about it.
You’re curious about people, not just the work
Leadership stops being about your output and starts being about the output of others.
If you find yourself wondering things like:
“What helps people do their best work?”
“Why is this person stuck?”
“How can I support them without taking over?”
…that’s a sign you’re already thinking like a leader.
You’re willing to be uncomfortable
Leadership is a constant rotation of conversations no one wants to have:
feedback, conflict, performance issues, tough decisions.
You don’t have to love those moments, but you do need to be willing to step into them with clarity and care.
You can separate your ego from your impact
If you need to be the smartest person in the room, leadership will feel like torture. And let’s be honest, Corporate America has WAYYYY too many of these types of leaders already.
If you’re energized by helping others shine, you’re on the right track.
You’re ready to trade control for influence
As an IC, you control your work.
As a leader, you influence the work of others.
Those are two very different muscles.
If you’re open to letting go of the steering wheel and guiding instead of doing, you’re closer than you think.
You care about the why, not just the what
Leaders create clarity.
They help people understand the purpose behind the work, not just the task list.
If you naturally connect dots, explain context, or help others see the bigger picture, that’s leadership DNA.
Questions to Ask Yourself Before Saying Yes to Leadership
Before you step into leadership, it’s worth slowing down and asking yourself a few honest questions. Not the surface-level ones like “Will this look good on my résumé?” but the deeper questions that reveal whether leadership will expand you or drain you.
Why do I want this role — truly?
Is it because you feel called to grow?
Because you want to help others succeed?
Or because it feels like the “next logical step”?
Your why will shape your experience more than any job description.
Am I willing to shift from doing the work to enabling the work?
Leadership requires letting go of being the hero. If your identity is tied to being the top performer, this transition can feel jarring.
Do I have the emotional capacity to support others right now?
Leadership isn’t just tasks and deadlines. It’s people with fears, ambitions, insecurities, and lives outside the office. If your own cup is empty, it’s hard to pour into others.
Am I ready to be accountable for things I didn’t personally do?
As an IC, you own your work. As a leader, you own the team’s outcomes…good or bad. That shift surprises a lot of new managers.
How do I respond when I don’t have the answer?
Leaders aren’t expected to know everything. They’re expected to stay curious, ask better questions, and create clarity.
What kind of leader do I want to be — and why?
This is where identity comes in.
Are you drawn to coaching?
To developing others?
To building culture?
To creating stability?
Your leadership style should align with your values, not someone else’s blueprint.
The Hidden Costs of Leadership No One Talks About
Leadership is often sold as a promotion, a badge of honor, or the “next step” for ambitious professionals. What rarely gets mentioned are the trade-offs. The parts of leadership that don’t show up in job descriptions or LinkedIn announcements.
These aren’t meant to scare you. They’re meant to prepare you.
Because when you understand the costs, you can make a choice that’s aligned with your values, not your ego.
Your wins become invisible — but your mistakes become public
As an IC, your accomplishments are yours.
As a leader, your team’s success belongs to them, and their failures often land on you.
It’s a shift that can feel jarring if you’re used to being recognized for your work.
You carry emotional weight that no one sees
People don’t just bring tasks to you, they bring fears, frustrations, insecurities, and personal challenges.
You become the buffer between your team and the chaos above them.
It’s meaningful work, but it’s heavy work.
You lose the simplicity of “just doing your job”
Leadership means context-switching all day long: coaching, planning, conflict resolution, strategy, performance issues, hiring, morale, culture.
Your calendar stops belonging to you.
You’re responsible for decisions you didn’t make
Corporate leadership often means being accountable for choices that came from higher up.
You may disagree with them. You may not have been in the room. But you still have to communicate them with clarity and confidence.
You will disappoint people — even when you’re doing the right thing
Good leaders make decisions that are fair, not convenient.
That means someone will always be unhappy.
If you’re a people-pleaser, this part can feel brutal.
Your growth becomes less about skill and more about self-awareness
Technical mastery won’t save you.
Emotional intelligence, boundaries, communication, and self-regulation become your real tools.
Leadership exposes every blind spot you didn’t know you had.
You sacrifice a level of freedom you may not realize you had
As an IC, you can unplug. Well, to a certain extent!
As a leader, you’re always “on,” even when you’re off.
Your team’s stability becomes part of your mental load.
So Why Do It? The Real Rewards of Leadership
With all those hidden costs, you might wonder why anyone would willingly step into leadership.
The answer is simple: because when it’s done well, leadership becomes one of the most meaningful, human, and transformative experiences of your career.
Not because of the title.
Not because of the power.
But because of the impact.
Here are the rewards no one talks about enough.
You get a front-row seat to someone else’s growth
There’s nothing like watching someone step into their confidence, find their voice, or realize they’re capable of more than they believed.
You don’t take credit for it, but you get to witness it.
And that’s a privilege.
You shape the culture you always wished you had
Most people complain about toxic workplaces.
Leaders get to change them.
You can build a team where people feel safe, supported, challenged, and respected. The kind of environment you once hoped someone would create for you.
You learn more about yourself than any course or certification ever could
Leadership is a mirror.
It reveals your strengths, your blind spots, your triggers, your values, and your capacity for growth.
It forces you to evolve in ways that make you better not just at work, but in life.
You influence outcomes that matter
As an IC, you contribute.
As a leader, you shape direction.
You get to connect the dots, solve bigger problems, and create clarity where there was confusion.
Your work ripples outward.
You build relationships that last beyond the job
Some of the most meaningful professional relationships you’ll ever have come from leading people with honesty, empathy, and consistency.
Those bonds don’t disappear when the job changes, they follow you.
You leave a legacy, even if no one ever says your name
A great leader’s impact shows up in the people they’ve developed, the confidence they’ve nurtured, and the careers they’ve helped shape.
Most of it happens quietly.
But it lasts.
You become the leader you once needed
And that might be the most powerful reward of all.
You get to break cycles, rewrite norms, and model a healthier way of working.
You get to be the person who makes someone else’s career feel possible.
A Closing Thought
Leadership isn’t a title you chase, it’s a responsibility you choose.
I didn’t step into it because I felt ready. I stepped into it because something in me knew it was time to grow in a different way. My values — and the values I wanted to develop — aligned with what leadership demanded of me.
And let me be clear: being a leader was the hardest role I ever took on.
It was also the most rewarding.
What makes it even harder is the culture around you. When the leaders above or beside you operate from values that don’t reflect what good leadership should look like, you can feel like an outsider. You’re trying to be the leader your team deserves while also shielding them from the poor leadership that’s raining down on you. If you truly care about people, that weight is real. It takes a toll.
But it’s a decision I will never regret.
Whether you stay on the IC path or step into leadership, the most important thing is that you choose with intention. Choose the path that aligns with your values, your capacity, and the kind of impact you want to have in the world.
Because at the end of the day, leadership isn’t about being in charge.
It’s about answering the call — and becoming someone you’re proud to follow.